Last Friday history was made and the United States finally got on the right side of it: Same-sex couples were granted marriage equality, ending the argument once and for all. I was elated, thrilled and so happy I was acting goofy. It was something so basic and so clear that should have been settled decades ago. In fact, it never should have been a question. But it was, and part of me had wondered just how long it would be before the United States got their shit together and figured it out. If you had asked me fifteen years ago if I saw it happening in my lifetime, I would have said yes. But I also would have thought I’d be much older than thirty.
Throughout the day, my Facebook feed had people sharing a few things I posted on my timeline including I’m Moving to Canada and a drinking game I devised for when people watched Fox News that day. I mean after such a long and hard fight, sometimes you just want to gloat… just a little. I texted my bestie as soon as it was announced, “Take that you Republican bitches!” But beyond that I was very classy about it, and not very braggy. By the end of Friday, my Facebook feed looked like an explosion of Skittles and I kind of loved it.
But after the first few hours and the shock of our country finally waking up and doing the right thing, other voices started sounding. And quite frankly they irritated the hell out of me. They fell into three categories: The Crusaders, The Religious Nuts, and The Political Hopefuls.
The Crusaders focused on how while this was great, there was so much more work to do. There is racism, classism, other LGBT rights yet to be won – the fight is not over. I don’t disagree, this victory doesn’t mean everything is suddenly fine and dandy – we do have a long way to go, but can’t we just have a day, or even a couple of days where we can just be happy? This was a long and hard fight that was won, and it was one that I have personally been involved with for nineteen years (I was a very political adolescent) and now it’s won. That win is HUGE. GLORIOUS. And you know what, we should be able to be proud and happy and take a minute and breathe. We should celebrate and not think about everything else that comes next. That’s how people burn out. Life isn’t about just moving on to the next thing, it’s about appreciating the small things, the big things and everything else in between – it’s about the journey. And this is one hell of a bright spot in many peoples’ journeys. Let’s celebrate that!
The other group that annoyed me on Friday was the political hopefuls a.k.a. most of the GOP presidential hopefuls. Mike Huckabee made a promise that the first thing he would take care of if he was elected President was to take care of this “incredible abuse of power.” Ted Cruz mentioned taking SCOTUS apart. Other politicians have called for proposed constitutional amendments as a work-around to this decision, because if such an amendment was successfully added to the constitution it would effectively invalidate this decision.
Now don’t get me wrong, I never expected these particular politicians to suddenly get smart and see the light, but my God… the stupid really fucking hurts. And it’s not entirely stupid, and I think many people don’t get that. This fight is 99.7% over. But hate is powerful and while there are not more haters in this country than those who value love, those haters are typically more motivated. Hatred, bigotry and fear are powerful motivators to vote, while people who are more socially liberal aren’t necessarily as driven to vote. Especially if they think this is over. I don’t believe a proposed amendment would ever gain the necessary momentum – not even close. And the idea of any politician trying to get rid of the Supreme Court, thereby destroying the entire “checks and balances” system is nothing but laughable. But the next president will most likely elect four Supreme Court Justices in her/his tenure. And this was a close vote. If the Supreme Court suddenly became more conservative, all it would take is for someone to bring about a new lawsuit, challenging this decision. If they revisited it, they could make a new decision and effectively reverse this one. So it’s highly unlikely, but not impossible: 99.7%.
The last group of people are the ones I seriously can’t stand – ever. The religious nuts: The people that speak for Jesus, because they’re such good Christians and yet they forget about 80% of the Bible. I grew up Catholic and I know my Bible, and I hate how many “crazy Christians” (not all Christians are crazy, so the crazy before the Christian is important – I know many Christians who are quite nice) seem to forget their Bible. Polyester cotton blends are a sin. Shaving a beard is a sin. Touching a football is a sin. Lots of things are sins according to the good book, and how many people do you see trying to abolish the NFL because they’re parading around in sin? No one!
People like to act all high and mighty, and yet I swear they don’t actually know the Bible that well. So they’re not just ignorant in the sense of being fearful hatemongering sheep, they actually don’t know what the hell they’re talking about. And I don’t know which of these pisses me off more. If you want to get in people’s faces and condemn them for what the Bible says, then you better be all-inclusive. Why leave any sinners out?
People who get like this – I just can’t deal with anymore. Because the stupid hurts, and I have better things to do with my life than deal with that kind of stupid. But it is still so disheartening to discover that a friend or acquaintance isn’t preaching hate or saying how the country is the new Sodom and Gomorrah, but still make a statement about how they refuse to change their picture to a rainbow because even though they believe in human rights and the law, the law of God is clear to them, and they can hate the sin, but love the sinners. These people might piss me off the most.
I don’t understand how someone who is levelheaded and believes in human rights, and isn’t the usual religious extremist who would just love if all LGBT people were wiped from existence, can actually still believe that their friends, coworkers, or family members are sinners, just because of who they are. It’s how God created them, and if God doesn’t make mistakes what makes these people think that they know better than God? I mean, seriously.
So, I try to block these people out of my mind, and when I see a post, I am tempted to unfriend the person, but usually I just move on and don’t say anything. I know anything I have to say will not be heard – not really, so the best thing is to either ignore them or cut them out of my life, which seems extreme for people who have not done anything to wrong me directly, and aren’t out there spitting out hateful words and calling for hateful action.
For now, I am still on a high (mostly) over something that should have been fundamental from the beginning. I hope other allies and LGBT people take the time to rejoice and just be happy. Celebrate the win, because such celebration is not just deserved, but demanded. Hate is strong, but love is stronger. I believe that love is the meaning of life: to love and to be loved. Love is love and love is the strongest force in the universe. So haters beware – love will always win!
-DMW
