Last week I was worried about our upcoming visit to Omaha. We were doing a long weekend (Friday-Monday) and it should have been the smoothest trip ever. For starters we had been planning the trip for awhile so everything in terms of where we were staying and letting people know when we’d be there was done two months in advance. That has never happened before. Usually we only figure out when we’re going a few weeks ahead of time and I’m still letting people know less than a week beforehand, “Hey, we’ll be in town, and want to see you!”
Secondly, we were prepared – as in packed, organized and well-rested. None of this ever seems to happen. No matter what amount of preparation is done, usually something comes up that pushes packing to the background. Usually we have to pack at least half our stuff last minute, and stay up until two in the morning to do so. We usually head out by six. Yeah, not fun. But this time we were on it. We did laundry days in advance, and I packed all of our clothes and had a spreadsheet to make sure we didn’t forget anything. The day before we left I cleaned the house and Roy took care of the dog (bath, teeth, nails – she was not happy). We were in bed before midnight and were heading out a little after eight in the morning. But even better, we were good about going to bed early that week so there was no sleep deficit going into the night before the trip (yes, usually we both have that going on too).
The trip itself was also to be our most low-key to date. Usually I try to pack all of my favorite places into the trip, no matter how brief. Local hangouts, coffee houses and places to eat means a lot going on. But this trip we only had to eat at one place, and do one thing with my family. Two musts over four days… we could handle that (and we did). Going to Nebraska is all about seeing me dearest who still live there and while that is always the case, this time our plans, or lack of, reflected that upfront.
We’re gearing up for another trip to Nebraska next weekend. It will be our last one for awhile. Part of me is excited and another part of me is, as usual, pretty anxious.
For the first time since moving to Colorado, we’re taking our dog, Angel, with us. I’m glad to be able to do this, but of course it also changes a few things. We’ll be stopping more on the road and will have to care for her during our time there.
I’m happy she’ll be with us, and worried how she’ll handle the trip and how it will impact our visit. We originally were bringing her so she could see some dogs she used to be friends with. They’re old and in poor health, so we figured sooner was better than later. But at the last minute (literally after I even started writing this post) their owner said he would be out of town, and on top of that was worried about introducing “strange dogs” with their health.
I totally get it and he would know their limits and what’s best for them but at the same time it’s like a bucket of ice water because on our last visit to Nebraska two months ago, he said how great it would be for them to see each other again and how his dogs would definitely remember/recognize Angel. And nothing about their health has changed in the last two months.
I am so hungry. Repeat this one million times. I am so hungry.
I don’t get to eat because of a test I’m having on Tuesday. I had to stop on Saturday. Normally people won’t have to stop but because I have Gastroparesis (my stomach doesn’t empty or does so incredibly slowly) so I am on strict orders to have nothing for days. Just water, and a little chicken broth (no noodles or chicken) but as little of that as possible, really just water.
No coffee. No meat. No snacking things. No chocolate. No cheese. No greens. Nothing healthy or unhealthy. Nothing at all. Just water. Normally I also take a health supplement called kratommasters. It is natural and very effective for me, and I highly recommend it. I had to skip on it as well unfortunately.
I feel tired, weak and not all here. I thought I’d be cranky – “hangry” but I’m not. Maybe that will come later. I can’t believe I have another day of this, technically more than a day.
I would say more. Make a few jokes, perhaps be a little witty, but remember I’m not all here (or really I’m nearly gone).
This probably sounds whiny but oh well. Typically people just have to stop eating at midnight the night before. I have to do it for three days. And it’s not even a restrictive diet. No juice. No other liquids. I can’t even have the hospital staple of Jell-O. Just water. Just water. Just water.
Monday I wrote a blog post with the intention of putting it up yesterday. That didn’t happen. It was finished, and I thought it was good-to-go. I figured it was personal, but it wasn’t like a piece I would send out for publication. It lacked scenes, present tense and anything that would give it urgency. I figured it was fine and no-big-deal.
I know that when it comes to writing about my life, thoughts, feelings and past experiences I am often like a satellite. I’m not just removed, but I am so removed it’s like I’m in a faraway orbit.
I get it. I’m aware of it. I have no intentions of changing it, but I do hope to be a little less obtuse in my insensitivity towards friends and people who care about me and read my work thinking, “WTF?”
Last Thursday I had an essay published in The Dallas Morning News about what it’s like to appear female and use the Men’s restroom. When talking about this “issue” so rarely do people seem to consider what happens when a transgender or gender-nonconforming person uses the Men’s room because they were born male.
What happens? Guys get uncomfortable. Some leave. Others glare. And some confront me.
What can happen? Exactly.
When I walk into the Men’s room, I feel like prey. And the “what could happen” is always a very real fear that is front and center. I feel like this is a perspective that is missed between trans/gender nonconforming people who are “legally male” using the Women’s restroom and the “scandal” it stirs up along with a bunch of conservative politicians making it seem like a capital case despite what many of their constituents think or feel.
Why is this an issue at all?
My essay was excerpted in Sunday, September 11, 2016 print edition of their paper. It appears between an article about the Texas Attorney General having dinner with the family of a transgender child and an election piece about Trump and Hilary. (Page 4P.) I couldn’t ask for better coverage.
I hope you’ll take the time to read my piece. Even if you agree that people should just be allowed to pee without it getting political, perhaps you’ll consider why.