The Big 100

Okay, so this isn’t the big 100, it is actually the big 101. It’s kind of crazy, but I realized that my last post was my one hundredth blog post. This is my first blog ever. I have been blogging for just under six months, and looking back, I am still kind of surprised I waited so long to try it out. It has been nice to have an outlet to talk about whatever is on my mind, whether it be books, writing, guilty pleasure reading, holidays, family, relationship stuff, medical this and that, current events and just random reflection. Just as I have enjoyed reading other people’s blogs about whatever they want to write about (I think my favorite blogs to read are the ones on books – whether I have read them or not).

I think back to my old preconceived hang-ups on blogging, which were really excuses as to why I shouldn’t start a blog. The first was privacy. I’m a very private person, so the idea of having my writing expose parts of myself to total strangers was just a little bit terrifying. Because no matter what I am writing about – my writing is me. The second was ego. Who would want to listen to my random thoughts and why? Supposing that people cared about what I had to say seemed a little arrogant to me (one of those double standards since I never thought the same thing of blogs I read and enjoyed reading them just because). These were my biggies. There were other things like time, logistics, what I would write about, etc. that were just bit-excuses, but they were never enough to sway me one way or another.

But in the middle of February of this year I finally broke. I want to be a published author and this was a practice of sorts because it allowed me to put my writing out there for strangers, just like I will be doing when my book is published, and my two big concerns will apply to such a thing happening. The next reason was logical, maybe I would connect to other bloggers, and such networks and connections are always beneficial, whether it be fun and friendly, or whether it will come in handy when I publish a book and hope to network and build a following. So while these connections were never a part of an agenda or bigger plan – they can only help, or have no effect, but they can’t hurt. Finally, I was determined to do some quality writing every day, but I can’t work on my manuscript or essay writing every day or I would go a tad batty. I needed just to write, to write, but I can’t. When I write to write (unless it is serious venting) I still have to do so with a purpose. Blogging became that purpose. I could write about anything, just because I wanted to and posting it was its purpose, but I never had to worry about how eloquent I was or being judged for what I wrote about – because this is fun, and that’s the point.

Of course the overachiever in me pipes in at times on if I am doing this blogging thing right. I can’t help it – I am the person who is always in competition with myself. I want to do my best always and I am not worried about comparing myself to others and being on top, per se, as long as I am doing well and doing my best. But every time I reach my best, I try to reach even higher for a new best. So, in 24 weeks and 4 days I have written 101 posts. I have 127 followers and I only known three of them in my personal life. Is that good? What could I do differently to write more interesting posts? To reach more people? To get more followers? Is there anything I should be doing that I am not already doing? Is there anything I need to stop doing, like yesterday?

I’m not conscious of these thoughts often even though I am sure they never really go away. I think this is because I want my blog to be good, but I have no idea what constitutes a good blog. I’m not sure how many followers I should hope to have and have yet to decipher what my most popular posts or days are. And to be honest, I’m not sure I even know the best way to find these things out (wordpress’s statistics don’t help) and while I want to be great and have an awesome blog – it isn’t why I keep doing this, and not what I ultimately care about. Like everyone else, I want people to read what I write, and I love getting likes and comments on my posts, but I am doing this for me. To write just for the sake of writing, because I want to and it is fun and it helps me stay that much more sane. (Of course, I always appreciate feedback, if you have some too haha.)

But I guess this blog was just dedicated to blogging, and to my 100th post. It has been a learning experience, an excellent outlet, fun and just terrific overall. I’m glad I finally got a clue and started this blog and here is to my next 100 posts. Hopefully my blog, like fine wines (and hopefully me, but not too sure on that haha), will just get better with age! 😉


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