I have kept myself busy or more accurately distracted because I’m always busy, the last few weeks, so I wouldn’t think about my manuscript. It is off in an editor extraordinaire’s hands, and has been for almost three weeks. But the last few days I have found myself dreading its return and the verdict of what this amazing writer/person/mentor will have to say about it. I think this fear is normal, unless you’re an egomaniac, but as someone who has never sent a full-length manuscript off to someone else before, the experience is new and completely foreign.
The last few days I keep checking my email and hope that I don’t see a message from the person currently working on my book. Because the next time she emails me it will most likely be to tell me that she has finished. And I am terrified about what she has to say about it. I wasn’t ever overconfident about my manuscript, but now having it gone – I feel all of my insecurities becoming facts rather than fears. Everything that could be wrong with my manuscript, must be wrong with it, and I am certain that when I do hear from her (my editor/mentor) that it will be her trying to cushion the blow of telling me how much my book blows. Nice, huh?
