Writing Contests – Yes Or No?

Posted on May 31, 2016 by DMW

It’s that time again. The time when it seems like there are a gazillion (okay, well several) writing contests for writers, aspiring writers and even writer-wannabes. Last year, I submitted my first essays EVER in such contests. They were my first submissions ever. I obviously didn’t win (if you even considered that I did, I love you forever and want to send you a basket of muffins) but it got me started on my submitting journey which still needs work, but at least it’s finally something instead of loads of nothing.

This year, I am debating on submitting to any contests. Why? I don’t know if it is a waste of money and even more importantly than that (I know, I’m shocked too, I am one frugal bitch) do I want to keep the piece I submit to said contests in a state of limbo for four to six months. Because see, that’s what I do. If I spend the money to submit something to a contest, I’m not going to turn around and submit it somewhere else while I wait for my form rejection, which to be clear, is a sure thing.

I am picky about the things I submit to contests. They are:

1) My BEST work. Says me, and my writing buddies (fellow writers who exchange work with me for both support and critiques/edits etc.).

and

2) A “perfect” fit for that publication and/or themed issue.

And as far as the contests I actually enter (because I’ve entered maybe three to date, so it’s not like I’m some writing contest floozy), they are my DREAM publications that I have specifically written for. So yeah.

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The Truth About “Writer’s Block”

Posted on May 26, 2016 by DMW

I’ve heard of this thing called writer’s block before. See, it’s this condition of not being able to think of what to write or how to proceed with your writing. Supposedly it is a writer’s worst enemy. And why not? Creative quicksand – OMG! Run! Run away as fast as you can!

But here is the thing about writer’s block most people don’t know: It does not exist.

Now I know to those who have experienced writer’s block, they might be thinking, “What the hell? Oh yes, it does!” or something similar, but the thing is what they are experiencing is not actually some mysterious block or a drain or absence of ideas. No, the thing about writer’s block is that it’s just another name for fear.

Now I feel the need to backtrack really quick with the one exception to this, which is one’s health. The mind and body are connected so if one is hurting or failing or trying to heal, this can certainly impact one’s writing ability. When I was 25 I had two severe strokes and several grand mal seizures after a fever spiked to breach the 109 degree mark. Lots of head trauma. Lots of relearning things. Lots of treatment for the illness that caused the fever. The entire time I felt utterly disconnected from my writing. It was as if there was a chord from my brain to my heart to my hands and that chord had been severed. It took a long time to reconnect and only happened once I was past the worst of it and had truly begun to heal. So the physical, neurological, etc. – that is the exception.

But for everything else, including emotional conditions or distress fall under that same big umbrella that regular writer’s block does: Fear.

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When Did The Literary Community Become A Trump Rally/Hate Fest?

Posted on May 24, 2016 by DMW

A few weeks ago while on vacation in Florida I checked my Facebook and saw my feed all atwitter. Antioch College published a piece by Daniel Harris in their winter issue – and it made people angry. Why?

Because it was garbage. Offensive. Hateful. Dangerous. Bad Writing. Awful. I could go on, but I imagine you get the point.

The Antioch Review was a pretty reputable publication – very reputable, actually. And yes, notice, I said was. The MFA program I attended carried the Antioch name so I’m quite embarrassed, though grateful it has no affiliation with the journal or Antioch College (which publishes the journal). Now I’m not transgender, and my understanding (forgive me, between the abominable writing and hate speech, I could not stomach finishing the essay – I skimmed) Harris mostly targets the transgender community and those who actually transition, so while I am bi-gendered/gender non-conforming/genderqueer (love how there are labels for those who reject labels) this article is not about me. I did not take personal offense like I imagine many transgender people may have, but oh my goodness I take offense as a fellow compassionate, understanding, and decent human being. And isn’t that enough?

Many writers, some academic, many unheard of and even a few powerhouses (I love you Roxanne Gay, I do) quickly condemned the essay via Twitter, and a petition was created (I signed of course, as did thousands, yes THOUSANDS of others). They saw it for what it was. A malicious piece of writing “cleverly” (I don’t think it was all that clever) disguised using “concerned” language. The only thing I really took away from what I read was, “Who the hell is this guy, and what is he trying to do here?” Because I think writing this essay was nonsensical. I might be a loudmouth activist and people may want to write me off at times as, unbalanced, but anyone who knows me knows the opposite is true. I’m hyper-rational. And my rational, logical brain wants to know why Harris would write this when anyone would know, “No good is going to come from this…” And no good did.

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Three Things I Learned Going Through Photos Of The Last Five Years

Posted on May 19, 2016 by DMW

For Mother’s Day I wanted to do something really special for our grandmothers (my husband, Roy’s, and mine). I had the “brilliant” (OMG it became such a thing it didn’t need to become, but it’s over now relieved emoji ) idea to put together a very special photo album since they both live far away and we can’t talk on the phone with either of them (due to hearing loss, etc.) and it’s not like either of them have a computer, so internet is out. I thought it would be perfect…

When we found an album we both liked, we were both kind of like… wait. Because it held 200 photos!

ME: We don’t have to fill it up. [LIAR!] Or we could write out favorite memories or something in the spots instead, or it can just be something they have to fill.

For the record we did the 200 photos. And there were different pictures in each. Sure a lot of special pictures of our engagement, wedding, the holidays and various trips/vacations were the same, but there were also a lot of special pictures in each. For Roy’s grandmother we included pictures of her as well as Roy’s parents by themselves, while my grandmother got shots of my siblings and I even included two pictures of my mother as a good gesture, and for her. (I have written about my mother countless times; she was terribly abusive and is not in my life anymore.)

But when it was all over, I realized something. After days of going through pictures of the last five years, I had several recurring thoughts. Some were lessons, both funny and sad and others were things I already knew, but it’s nice to have a gentle nudge of a reminder anyway.

1. MY GOD WE WERE YOUNG!

I’m sorry, but that one really did deserve ALL CAPS. I don’t think Roy or I look particularly old, but when I looked at pictures of us in Italy (May 2011) or our engagement pictures (April, May 2012) or pictures from our wedding and mini-moon in the Bahamas (June 2012) I just kept thinking: “God we were young.” Or “We look so young!” “I don’t remember looking that young.” “OMG, Roy looks so young.”

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Florida 2016: Take One

Posted on May 17, 2016 by DMW

A little less than two weeks ago, Roy (the husband) and I finally made it back to Florida to visit his family. It was a vacation – sort of. It was in the sense that it was a break from our everyday lives, and we both genuinely love these visits. Seeing his family (who I am closer to than my own, and well, it’s Roy’s family), but also visiting “our” spots including where we got married and special places to us, favorite local spots, and dreaming of our someday… (We both want to end up in Florida eventually, in fact that was the plan instead of moving to Colorado but then life happened. I would like to make the move sooner than Roy, but he wants to make it eventually. This has never been a question.) These are the things that totally make it a vacation, but there are also a few factors that don’t.

DSC00516

Sunset on the Beach!

Just like when visiting my grandmother, siblings and friends in Nebraska there never seems to be enough time to fit everything, or more accurately everyone, in. His family isn’t work, but sometimes it can be a balancing act making sure we see enough of everyone we want to, while still doing what we want to do, because there is no such thing as enough. (This is why trips to Nebraska, no matter how leisurely or enjoyable are never “vacations” either.) And when you start to feel the strain of getting rid of places on your list or seeing people, but for shorter periods of time because you’re off to someone else, well that creates tension.

This trip was a little easier in some ways because I knew we couldn’t do everything and gave up a few places to visit or eat at, so we could spend more time with Roy’s family. I was just better at cutting away or prioritizing than I have been in the past. And people always came first. Roy is always so “whatever” this really fell on me, and whether I have mellowed out or just stopped caring as much, it was easier to let things go this time around. But make no mistake, it’s not like our trip was laidback. We did A LOT and got to see everyone we wanted to, even if we wished there was a little more time.

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