“You can’t go home again.”
Nebraska was never my home. It was a sentence handed down. And while I wouldn’t call it home, I am going back… for a week!
In a few days we’ll be headed to Nebraska again. We try to go once a year, sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn’t. But this visit is different because it will be for just over a week when usually we go for a few days, like a long weekend – max. It will be fun, and quite possibly awful. Honestly, I don’t know how I feel about it.
First off, I HATE Nebraska. The strength of my sentiments warrant all caps. I’m always torn when I visit. On the one hand there is never enough time to spend as much time as we’d like with the people we visit, eat at the places we want to eat at and so on. On the other we can get in and get out before the echoes of my past and reminders of just how fucked Nebraska is become too heavy to bear. We’ve always done the “get in, get out” method, and never the “stick it out” one.
But I’m tired of always feeling like we left someone out or didn’t spend enough time with so and so. I don’t like how we have to choose where we eat, leaving a favorite out (we only have five places, but we’re usually there less than 48 hours) – some visits are better than others but it never feels like we did everything we were supposed to. Rather than feeling 100% satisfied when we leave we’re always like, “Well, there’s always next time.”
Posted in Family, home, Personal, Relationships, travel
Tagged "best friends", "favorite restaurant", "road trip", birthday, grandma, Nebraska, triggers, visit
On Tuesday I had a dentist appointment first thing in the morning. I say this because I expected my day to go as, “I’m tired but really need to get some stuff done, but after the dentist will just want to crawl in bed and…” No, I was not expecting cavities (and I don’t have any, thankfully) but who likes going to the dentist? I’d rather break another finger!
But when I got home from the dentist, prepared to watch some HGTV and wrestle with this “block” I’ve been dealing with I found a nice surprise waiting for me. The Huffington Post published an essay I wrote about gender roles and not conforming to them. It’s about self-love and acceptance, searching for who you are just to find out you know who you are, and it doesn’t matter whether there is a word for it or not!
It’s such a personal piece that I considered not sending it to anyone. Like really. But thanks to some love and pushing from two friends I did. It came out as a Featured (top of the darn page, my husband texted me at work like a total fanboy and I was just shocked haha) story on two different news pages. It is still a Featured and trending article. Other pubs have shared it on their Facebook pages and Twitter accounts and authors I look up to have given me plenty of swoon moments by sharing it and saying such kind things. This isn’t a piece that will make you feel bad. It’s about the courage to just be you. Because you are beautiful and whole and don’t need definition. It’s a happy piece (which is probably a rarity for me). So I’m happy and wanted to share this piece here instead of writing something new because I’m really excited. I feel like it’s an important conversation. I go on and on about love, but honestly the most important kind of love is loving yourself.
Please read my article here (it’s short) and “like” it, leave a comment and share to your heart’s content.
“Pride and beauty can come from something involuntary – it’s called acceptance,” from “How Rejecting Gender Made Me Happier, Healthier – Complete”.
Posted in Blog, blogger, blogging, gay, Happy, Journal, LGBT, Life, Personal, Relationships, Thoughts, Writing
Tagged "self love", acceptance, embracing who you are, gender, Gender Identity, gender nonconformity, gender roles, gender stereotypes, Huffington Post, identity, joy, labels, LGBT issues, LGBT voices, love, pride, transgender, Transgender issues
For the past two weeks I’ve kind of let my two blogs (remember I have a blog for reviews too) go. Nothing is wrong. I’m not dead, just busy.
I’ve really tried to focus on writing for online sites, pitching articles etc. Still most posts I write in advance. Except for timely things like holidays or trips or family visits, most posts are actually written six weeks in advance. This gives me a nice reserve in case I get busy or things get crazy or whatever. And I still have that reserve actually (currently I have six posts in reserve, but two I’m holding because I’m pitching similar article ideas on a few sites, the other four are still good-to-go though) but I’ve just been too busy to even bother posting them. Which you have to admit is pretty busy.
I already blogged about taking a step back but I didn’t actually intend to take off for two weeks – I figured a step back was one post per week. It’s just… nuts. That’s what this month has been. Absolute chaos meets manic sixteen-hour days of amazing productivity meets a little emotional turmoil where nothing gets done.
Here has been my month so far:
June 1-8: Family came out to visit, lots of activities including mountain getaways, thrill-parks and swim meets were had.
Posted in Blog, blogger, blogging, Current Events, Events, gay, Journal, LGBT, Life, Personal, Relationships, Writing
Tagged acceptance, anger, busy, career, emotional turmoil, grief, homophobia, Orlando, Orlando Shooting, pitch, productivity, published, taking a break